Singing with my mum: an autoethnography of care aesthetics and everyday moments in the context of dementia

There is increasing attention to ‘being present’ and ‘being in the moment’ in the context of living with dementia, challenging narratives of decline. Keady and colleagues have situated this within a ‘continuum of moments’ including ‘creating the moment’, ‘being in the moment’, ‘ending the moment’ and ‘reliving the moment’. They call for further conceptual work on moments and dementia, examining how moments fit together as part of everyday life. At the same time, literature on care aesthetics draws attention to moments of beauty, creativity and multi-sensory engagement as part of care practice. Building on this literature, this article explores daily life as a ‘series of moments’ in an autoethnographic account of caring for my mum who is living with dementia, exploring shifts between moments that are difficult, sad, challenging, beautiful, joyful and/or caring. It offers new insights into challenging moments as well as positive ones and the relation of moments to reciprocal emotion work. The article considers tensions between supporting my mum’s continuity of self and constant adaptation, and challenges involved in creating, being in, ending and reliving moments. The discussion explores implications for care practice, highlighting how a focus on moments can help make sense of experiences of caring, and the need for further support with the emotion work associated with care aesthetics.