Online Dating and Love Robots: How Technology May Undermine Valuable Features of Romantic Love

This chapter speculates on what might be in store for the future of romantic relationships in light of two technologies that are already here, but will be developed over the coming years and probably be more widely used. First, the author considers the use of dating websites and applications, such as Tinder, with their ever increasing popularity and improving dating algorithms, which promise to find the ‘perfect match’, and second, love-bots which can be programmed to suit romantic and sexual desires and needs. She considers how our ideals of love might change if finding someone with whom one is immediately a ‘good match’ is prioritised over compromise and commitment in a relationship. Although there are clear benefits to being better equipped to find a partner – human or robot – there are valuable features, of which three are discusses, of romantic love, which we risk losing by prioritising finding a ‘good match’ over commitment and working at a relationship. Firstly, by focussing too much on the role of appraisal in romantic love, we risk side-lining the importance of the bestowal of value onto one’s partner. Secondly, if it becomes extremely easy to replace partners, then we could lose the commitment, security, and validation that romantic relationships tend to provide. Thirdly, if love comes to be seen, primarily, about the fulfilment of one’s own interests, we could forget that love ought to involve disinterested concern for the beloved and a desire to contribute to their wellbeing.