Friendship and Romantic Relationships: Reflections on a Neglected Difference

This chapter sheds light on how romantic relationships differ from friendships. It considers the differing norms which apply to the relationships, the different roles they have in our lives, and the different obligations we have towards our romantic partners and friends. The distinction between friends and romantic partners is becoming both more and less important. It is becoming less important as we are now becoming increasingly tolerant of a diverse range of non-traditional relationship types and so they do not need to fit into rigid categories. However, the distinction is also becoming more important for this reason. As the types of relationships we have become more fluid and blurrier around the edges, we are less confident about where the boundaries lie and what is reasonable to expect from people with whom we share relationships. The chapter dispels the idea that romantic relationships are just ‘friendship plus’, or that they are just ‘friendship plus sex’; indeed, sex is not a necessary feature of romantic relationships. Instead, the chapter argues that there are two features of romantic relationships which allow us to distinguish them from friendship and better understand our different obligations in the relationships: (i) commitment to sharing a life; and (ii) exclusivity.