The Kindness of Strangers: Single Mothers and the Politics of Friendship in Interwar Cape Town

Just as a friend is often defined as somebody we like, friendship is thought of as a social, moral, and emotional good. The aura of friendship is in its virtue. But the meaning of friendship depends on who claims it and who the person appears to be whom they describe as their friend. This essay investigates the meaning of friendship in the lives of single mothers in South Africa between the two world wars. The context is Cape Town, where single mothers classified as “white” or “European” attracted the attention of the state. In case records pertaining to the 1913 Children’s Welfare Act, the meaning of friendship was contested between magistrates, police detectives, welfare workers, and single mothers themselves. The struggle over how a case should be resolved was to a great extent a struggle over the meaning of friendship. To the authorities, “friends” were a disturbing presence in the lives of single mothers. While the image of healthy, secure, and stable colonial family units was articulated around the relationship between a mother and a child, it was underwritten by the taken-for-granted presence of a male provider. Analyzing cases where men were in various ways absent forces our emphasis away from the normative standards that guided child welfare work and into the messier social realities against which those standards were applied.