‘The Buddha in the home’: dwelling with domestic violence in urban Sri Lanka

This paper examines how home is produced by women under conditions of violence. It contends why domestic violence (DV) is not a disruption, but a ‘condition of possibility’ in the production of the ideal home. Drawing on cultural aphorisms the paper highlights the role of gender norms in simultaneously idealizing the mother and normalizing DV in Sri Lanka. The veneration of the mother in all ethno-religious communities, the paper argues, is conditioned upon a woman’s capacity for nurture and her absorption of violence through the embodiment of feminine virtues: selflessness, forbearance, and long-suffering. The paper contributes to discussions of home and domestic violence in three ways. First, it illuminates cross-cultural meanings of home and the gendered labour that produces it. Second, it describes how women dwell with DV by embodying gender norms through acts of care and repair. Finally, the paper aims to underscore the materiality of gender norms in creating a ‘moral-economy of care’; that is, the ways by which cultural truisms – in postulating a triumvirate of woman-home-suffering – emotionally tethers woman to home compelling her to produce it under conditions of violence.