Intense connection and love: The experiences of autistic mothers

Knowledge of how parenthood is experienced by autistic women is currently poor. Nine autistic mothers to children aged 5–15 years completed semi-structured interviews, analysed using Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis. All mothers considered at least one of their children to also be autistic. Four superordinate themes emerged: 1. Autism fundamentally impacts parenting; 2. Battle for the right support; 3. Development and acceptance; and 4. The ups and downs of parenting. The themes demonstrate that while motherhood is largely a joyful experience for autistic mothers (Themes 1 and 4), it is associated with specific issues unlikely to be found in neurotypical motherhood (Theme 1), including negotiating misunderstandings from others (Theme 2). The need for self-care and self-acceptance was expressed (Theme 3) with parenting resulting in personal growth and adaptation (Theme 3). Feelings of intense connection and closeness were experienced (Theme 4), though managing children’s needs had a profound personal impact (Themes 2 and 4). The findings demonstrate that service-providers would benefit from training, ideally led by autistic individuals, on how autism presents in adulthood, masking, the potential for mismatching between emotional experience and facial expression, sensory needs (especially in pregnancy), and the double empathy problem (Theme 2). This study represents the first systematic in-depth analysis of the experiences of autistic mothers presented from their own perspectives.